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Vania

 
I find your project very moving and positive. Its nice to be able to reach out to people and connect with others who have experienced some of the same situations as yourself ,but also have overcome them and not let them take over their lives. Here's my story... My name is Vania I am 22 years old. At the age of 4 I was molested by my mothers boyfriend friend. He would just touch me inappropriately and dry hump me. Then at the age of 7 My mothers boyfriend began to molest me but it went to another level. He would walk in the room naked and touch me in places he shouldn't.  What's sickening is that I called him my father because at that time he was the closest thing to a father figure I had. That went on for awhile. Then my mother broke up with him and she met another guy who I liked at first until she married him. After that he would be very hard on me tell me I was fat and that I couldn't be a dancer like I wanted to be at that time. When I was 11 he molested me as well. He took advantage of my body and I had just been so used to men doing this to me that I just laid there and let him do as he pleased. By age 13 I had no sense of self worth and what that even meant. I had no respect for myself. I didn't know how I should be treated. I met a guy who was 18 years of age and he took advantage of my youth. He forced me to have sex with him and at the time again I was used to being controlled. So I just laid there. Unfortunately, that resulted in a pregnancy. I lied to my mother and told her that we just had sex but I wasn't ready for a baby so I aborted the child. Ever since that day I felt something missing from my life. That child I could not get back. Finally two years after that I got a chance to start over become a different person. My mother and I moved to South Carolina because she met my current step father on an online dating site. I started my sophomore year in South Carolina and I was new to the gay scene. Everyone was so open about it that I began to get curious. My first friend happen to be a female that I was very much so attracted to. We immediately became a couple. My first girlfriend. We dated for 8 months but then something in me just didn't feel right about her. She was very controlling and didn't let me interact with other people. I got tired of the relationship that I decided to break free from her hoping that we could still be friends after that. Unfortunately May 8, 2007 she shot me three times to the head. If she couldn't have me then no one could. My life has been a complete roller coaster. That just put the icing on it. Like a lot of people I could have let these tragedies hold me back from living but I decided not to. I feel my purpose in life is to help others. I have always felt a calling to do that. I am currently in my last year of college My major is Psychology. After I graduate I plan on furthering my education and getting my masters in Social Work. I hope my story helps people relate to. At the end of the day everything in life is a lesson no matter how bad the experience is. I've grown into a strong individual woman and I am happy to say my past does not control my present life and It motivates my future self.........  My mother didn't know about any of the sexual abuses until I told her at the age of 16. I just kept it to myself. She was hurt that I didn't tell her and tried to blame herself for not being there. But she was a hard working woman who I know loves me unconditionally so I didn't nor do I blame her for these things happening. Thanks for letting me share. Love your channel and especially this project!

23 Comments to Vania:

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Juie Johnson on Tuesday, October 01, 2013 11:58 AM
You are so strong thank you for sharing this its helping me heal even more with my past pain..thank you
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