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Survivor's

Aussy, 21, NY

 
Ever since I was 7 years old my Mon knew this family (the Hamilton family) one of the women from that family worked with my mom and so they became friends. Through her my mom started going to church and meeting the ret of the family. My mom started letting me be babysat by her friend's mother. Her mother was a beautiful old lady, but she was very old.
My mother met one of her friend's brothers and started dating him. She decided he was the one he was going to stay with so he moved in with us. A couple of months later she became pregnant when I was 9 years old and I was extremely happy because I was an only child.
From the age of 7 while I was being babysat I was also being molested by my "step-father" and two of his brothers while being mentally abused by his sisters. On top of that every summer my mom would send me to the Dominican Republic and there I would get molested by my cousins (two of them) and was beaten by one of them and an uncle all from ny mom's side if the family.
Being touched and beaten was all I knew from the age of 5. Until I turned 10...
When my sister was born I was so happy!! She is still the best thing that has ever happened to me. I also thought that people would leave me alone when my sister came along... that didn't work out that way. The abuse continued until my mom almost caught my step-father while she wa in the house. I was so scares I went to the bathroom and took a shower and cried and prayed that my mom wouldn't have caught us because I didn't want her to break up with him and be sad. I also asked God to forgive me I don't know how many times while under  the shower. My mom noticed to she took back into the bathroom and asked me what was wrong. She pulled the information out of me when it came to my stepfather touching me. A few days later we left to DR to het away from him. She didn't know that the abuse would continue even in a different country. I became scared of anything an everyone, But decided to just keep going in life and put it behind me.
We kept participating in church no matter what. One day I heard my sister's father would come to DR to see my sister and mother (my heart sank). One morning I went into my mom's house and there she was with no underwear and him in bed. U figured that she loved him too much to let him go.... plus my sister needed to know she had a dad so I let it go. I grew up and my sister made me soooo happy that I didn't have time to thing about abuse. I thank God to this day that my sister came into the picture, And also thank him for being so good to me in giving me strength to move on. I am a firm believer in Jesus Christ no matter what because even though all that stuff happened to me he helped me move on. As a teen I was a very confused girl, but I always knew I liked girls. I had so many flings its hard to count. Me and my mom moved so much in those years I went to 4 different high schools. Al throughout my teen years I struggled with liking women and my mom was ALWAYS against it. She once told me that if I decided to be with women she would disown me and wouldn't let me see my sister ever again, so I've had to hide who I love in order to keep a relationship with the best gift God has given me.... my baby sister. Now that I'm 21 I met the love of my life and decided it was time for me to let go of my mom's chains. I got a job, started school, and began having a social life (something mom does not approve of). My mom didn't even kick me out because of my girlfriend because she doesn't even know, even though I'm not really hiding it that much. Before I left I made sure to tell her every man and woman who ever put their hands on me to beat me or molest me.
People who she chose to defend instead of saying something about it.
I have decided to cure my heart of all that pain and move on. I've decided NOT to be a victim.

3 Comments to Aussy, 21, NY:

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