-
RSS Follow Become a Fan

Delivered by FeedBurner


Categories

abuse
abused
blessed
childhood
family
moested, molestation, victim, survivor
molestation
molested
parenting
sexual abuse
speak up
suicide
suicide, sexual abuse, molested, molestation, survivor, victim, change, motivation
survivor
taboo
victim
victims
powered by

Survivor's

Nanii

Dear Marial,
Hi My Name Is Nanii.Today I told you that you changed my life and I'm prepared to open up and explain how.When I was 3, I was sexually molested fore about 2 years of my life. My Mom's fiancé had always been like a father to me since my dad left back to D.R when I was 2. I never told anybody because if figured everybody would blame me for letting it happened. My Mom wound up dumping him a around two months after my 5th birthday. I became a really good liar then, hiding it from everyone since I was always mature for my age. I always connected with adults,because my vanacular was extensive for my age. Everybody said I was an " Old Soul,in A Baby Body". So when I was in second grade, one of the boys from my class put his fingers inside me I didn't know what to do, so I shut up and let it happened. All I could do was turn extremely quite. This however, didn't even flash as a hazard sign, even though I was a talkative child. My mom blamed it on me getting bullied, since I was always Fat. I would just eat and eat since I had nothing else to do. I had no friends and no way to even spend my day. All I ever had was books and music. So I started singing. I would get made fun of, but I was always told my voice was nice. The only person who didn't think it was nice was my Mom. She hated my voice , and would constantly seize my singing. I would cry and write all night without anyone knowing. When I was in 4th grade, my mom switch my private school and put me in a school where it was mostly Hispanic . Me, not having my dad in my life, never really had a Spanish upbringing. My mom is Jamaican and Hawaiian so I was more Caribbean then anything. I would get teased, because I would claim I'm Dominican but COULD NOT SPEAK SPANISH. Then on top of that I was the biggest in my class. My weight seemed to haunt my every move. That's when I started cutting. Since we wore uniform, nobody every noticed. My arms had over 50 cuts a piece. Then when I join pied cheerleading it died down . I got to know everyone and met my three best friends.
They never about any of my cuts or depression, they just knew me as a happy person. When I turned 11 I met this guy. His name was Jaime and he was 16. He called me beautiful and told me I was more precious than gold. He was my first boyfriend. All my friends knew about him , but none of my family. They would have made us break up, and I loved him.... He started beating me , calling me names, even making me have sex with his friends. Trying to break me down to a wifey that I no longer had a desire to be... He died when I was 13. When I started high school, My mom, new step dad, my little brother and I moved upstate . That is when the bullying took a turn for the worst. I got jumped everyday , spit on , beat up by guys, teased and even judged for having my first girlfriend, Carly. She was my rock, but then she cheated on me with my cousin and got pregnant. I went my whole freshman year with anyone knowing. The only people who knew where my 3 VERY BEST FRIENDS(Courtney,Kimberly, and Maria) . I told them everything. We all had some type of damage to use from childhood till now. We bonded over our pain. They eventually convinced me to tell my mom and she removed me from the school that summer. I Moved Back To the Bronx with my Abuela . I head lives With her for most of MY Life. She had raised me along with most of my cousins. The summer of 2011 I feel in love with Kimberly, my best friend. We had a very dysfunctional relationship. We argued everyday. She was my reason for comming out to my family. When I did I was shunned by most, since being A Lesbian is against Jamaican Culture. My mom and I grew more apart , forcing into the arms of my aunt from my father side. I was finally learning my Dominican Roots. Making Mangu, dancing Bachata and Singing along to every Song in Spanish. Since Kim was Dominican also, we fell more in love .She became my everything. That fall , I started school in the Bronx . Celia Cruz Bronx High School of Music. I went to that school mainly because the only friends I ever had was in that school together. The bad part about it was , Kim was still in the closet and I wasn't . So our relationship turned to mush and ended January 30,2012. Then she broke off from the best friends and dated someone else. That relationship almost ended me. I was cuttIng so much , some days I stayed home just to heal , because I was to lightheaded to leave my house. I was always covering my arms. I gained so much weight that I was 300 by September 21,2012. This was then start of my junior year. I was arrested for aggravated harassment , but not sentenced to jail for being to young. I had made death threats to Kim and her girl. The finally got safety transfers to another school and I started to suffer from depression from her leaving. That's when I discovered you video about you and you wife. You guys showed me how real love could be found in the midst of a bad life. Through the horror , your videos made me smile, and move past my ex. I am no longer cutting, I'm happy and I'm down to about 245. I may not be perfect, but you guys showed me nobody is perfect. From you guys I learned love can come from anyone and anything . I learned not to harbor hatred and move on from my pain. I watch you guys, and I feel hope. I feel like one day , that's gonna be me with my wife. Especially when you guys dance . I feel like I'm back in my aunts arms dancing around her kitchen. She passed away two months ago from Cancer. She Too was a lesbian. Your three have really taught me how to Love. I am now reaching out to my dad. In D.R and I'm Building a relationship with my mother . I am happier then I ever been and am currently talking to a girl Who actually likes me for all the RIGHT reasons . I just wanted to thank you and tell you that you do change lives Marial. I feel like I've know you for a long , yet I've never met you. You and Your wife deserve a medal . And your project is really wonderful and I would love to help. I'm Now a Senior, and Going into my senior year with noting but good Thoughts. I hope to meet you on day when you come to NY if possible just to give you a hug for your help. Well I don't want to make you bored with my long life story. But I just wanted to express to you how you have at least touched on heart.


-Love
Naje Alese Alize Arilenny Lopez -Galloway :D

1 Comment to Nanii:

Comments RSS
tag heuer sale on Wednesday, May 13, 2015 11:54 PM
Typically the number of Etienne Aigner, who is responsible for some most certainly discover running shoes trendy, need developed the women across the world to arrive towards singular personal preference.
Reply to comment

Add a Comment

Your Name:
Email Address: (Required)
Website:
Comment:
Make your text bigger, bold, italic and more with HTML tags. We'll show you how.
Post Comment
Website Builder provided by  Vistaprint